Thursday, February 23, 2012

What to do with all that time?

Yeah! I know, what time? Most of us are swamped with constant demands on our time, we need to fix other's problems, provide for their needs, then there is the daily stuff like housework and upkeep that can eat away at your time and your precious energy. Add on top of that your need to respond to society's call for perfection in everything and you can certainly say "WHAT TIME?"
So I think the solution rests in our choices. We choose who we respond to, how we do things, and what is important and what can wait for another day. We may not always make the right choice but it is still ours to make. All this ruminations come from the book I've started reading called, " The Curse of the Good Girl" by Rachel Simmons. In the book, she lays out a scenario that explains how girls really act in their daily lives and more importantly, the guiding force of their actions. This society we live in, is sending a message to girls that they must be perfect in being a good girl. The message is laid out for them in advertising, television and social norms everywhere. A good girl is pretty, demure, kind, helpful, self-effacing and all that good stuff. The problem happens when this perfection which is impossible to achieve is demanded nevertheless. Apparently girls have found a way to be the good girl by hiding their faults, their feelings and their true selves.
Now, I am no longer a 'girl' but I identify with a lot of the examples Ms. Simmons offers to make her point. I remember acting the same way or watching my friends perform the same scenarios she describes in the book. To make a long story short, I have discovered that I, Me, This Person, am not a Good Girl. I remember being ostracized in school because I wouldn't play the game. At the time it was horrible to be left out but now I'm beginning to think they did me a favor.
Now, what does all this have to do with time? Well, I pose the question. How much more time would you have if you didn't strive for someone else's version of the perfect you? How much time do you spend pleasing someone else's account of who you should be? How much time do you spend working on the best version of yourself according to your own rules of perfection? And who said we had to or could be perfect? I think the best version of you according to you is all anyone should strive for.
So, today, I will strive to only listen to my own inner chatter and to silence that as well. That is alot of noise, after all. And in the silence I will find myself. Hope I like what I find!

1 comment:

  1. You are very wise, my friend! That is my goal for the new year . . . to quell the inner chatter and listen to my true self!